Betrayal Page 10

  CHAPTER 8

  My jaw was on the floor. I couldn’t think of anything to say, and I don’t think anybody else could, either. We girls must have looked like the three wise monkeys. You would have been able to cut the atmosphere with a knife. This was why I hadn’t heard from him all day. Five minutes ticked away before I spoke again.

  “What?” I finally said in shock. My eyes blinked as though I were half-asleep. Jason stood back up. His knee must have been getting sore.

  “I just asked you to marry me,” he said.

  Damn. This was real, and not a terrible nightmare. What was I going to say now? A day ago I was going to end the relationship.

  “Oh, my God.” Megan said and sniggered into her drink. I turned ’round rapidly and gave her a look that said, Shut it. Was Jason drunk? I moved closer to smell his breath. Nope. That wasn’t the reason for this madness. Perhaps he’d taken some drugs?

  “Are you on something?” I snapped. Whoops. That hadn’t come out too well.

  “No, of course not.” He looked offended.

  “Sorry. It sounded different in my head.” I was fed up with having an audience. I grabbed his hand and led him out of the living room to the kitchen. I closed the door and I turned to look at him.

  “Jason, what are you doing?” I waited for his answer.

  “I’m asking you to spend the rest of your life with me.” I sighed and rubbed my temples.

  “Jason, this is not the answer to the problems we have. That ring isn’t a plaster.” I needed a drink of water. I turned round and poured myself one. My head was starting to throb. I took a couple of paracetamol from one of the kitchen cupboards.

  “Bethenny, I love you and I don’t want to lose you. You are my everything,” Jason said.

  I shook my head gently. “Yesterday, you told me that you didn’t trust me and today you are pledging your undying love? Asking me to marry you? Don’t you see how crazy that is?” Jason didn’t say a word. He just stood there, looking forlorn. “Look,” I told him, “go home, sleep on it and come back tomorrow when we’ve both had time to think.” I kissed him on the cheek and walked him to the door.

  I could tell that Meg was dying to say something about this fiasco. As I walked back in, I put my hand up as a signal to her to stay quiet.

  “Meg, please don’t. I have enough to think about already.” Megan just shrugged.

  “I don’t know what you mean.” Then she took another gulp of her vodka. Downing my drink, I refilled it and started the film again; this time hoping to watch some of it.

  It was one a.m. when the film was over. The girls left to go home. The house was strangely quiet as I took my thoughts to bed. This marriage business was no good. I would have to talk to someone about it tomorrow. Surely, he couldn’t be serious. We weren’t that serious; certainly not serious enough for marriage.

  I knew that I didn’t love Jason, but if I said yes, I would be too busy to think about Russell. That would be a bonus. Perhaps, I could learn to love Jason. You know, over time. No; that was ridiculous.

  Wasn’t it?

  Waking in the morning, I was refreshed and could think clearly. I would go over to see Mum and Dad. Mum always knew what to do in these situations. Driving there was peaceful. The sun was high in the sky and the birds were singing.

  Saturdays, in my book, were always a day for contemplation. Arriving my parents’, my heart began to pound inside my chest again. I don’t know why; I was only asking for advice. When Mum opened the door, I walked into the living room and sat down. Mum looked at me and smiled. I smiled back.

  “You alright, love?” I think Mum wondered why I came over; this wasn’t a regular occurrence. “Would you like a cup of tea?”

  “Yes, please,” I said. Mum walked into the kitchen. I followed her. After she filled the kettle and placed it back on its base, I began. “Mum, I have a problem and I wondered if you could help me sort it out.” I think she knew I was there for something besides a cup of tea. Slowly, she turned ’round to look at me.

  “What’s wrong, Beth?” She leaned on the kitchen counter. Looking at her face, I could see that she had aged some after Dad’s heart attack. I don’t think it helped that she now followed him around everywhere, when he wasn’t at work, watching for it to happen again. It stressed her out, but it also allowed her to relax, if that made any sense. Her eyes were still the striking blue that Dad fell for so many years ago.

  “Well, here goes. Jason came round yesterday and… Well… He asked me to marry him.” Mum didn’t change her expression. She wasn’t apparently happy or angry or anything. She was just thinking. Mum moved her hand from the counter and started to play with her wedding ring; moving it ‘round on her finger with her thumb. Then she took a sip of her tea.

  Finally she spoke: “What did you say to him?” She waited patiently for my reply.

  “I told him to go home so we could both sleep on it.” Mum nodded her head.

  “Good. That was the best move,” she said. Again, Mum stood there for a while without saying a word. I think she was choosing her words carefully. Eventually, she asked me, “Do you love him?” Now, that was the golden question.

  “Isn’t it too early to know if I do or not?” I replied, weakly.

  “It all depends, my love,” she said. “Your Dad and I knew pretty much straight away.”

  “How did you know, Mum?” She smiled at me, with a twinkle in her eyes.

  “We just did. It’s a feeling; like electricity.” An notion popped into my head. The only person I had ever had that with was Russell. But that was a no-go area. I cleared my thoughts and tried to answer Mum as best as I could.

  “To be honest, I don’t know.” I finished the last mouthful of my tea. Mum looked ‘round as Dad strolled into the kitchen. He was whistling as he walked.

  “Hiya, Dad.” I grinned. He smiled back.

  “Hi, love. You alright?” He picked up the mug of tea that Mum had made for him and lifted it up to his lips.

  “Yeah.” If only he knew. With that, he walked off to finish watching football. I looked back at Mum, who was rinsing her mug out under the tap.

  “Bethenny, the only solution I can give you is, follow your heart. Do what feels right to you, but please don’t take this situation lightly.”

  “OK, Mum.” I hugged her as tightly as I could. “Thanks,” I whispered in her ear, then kissed her on the cheek. “I’ve got to go now. I’ll speak to you later. I love you.” She rubbed her hand on my back in a circular motion, like she did when I was young and upset over something.

  “I love you, too,” she said.

  I walked to the living room door and peered ’round the jamb.

  “I’m going now, Dad. I’ll see you later. Love you.” He looked up from the telly.

  “OK, Beth.” With that, I disappeared out of the front door. Driving home, I didn’t feel right at all. I definitely had a headache and I was feeling a little achey in my body, as well. I ignored it and got home after a 10-minute drive. I decided to take a bath and have a nice soak. I was beginning to feel terrible. All this worry was taking its toll. I stayed in the bath for a good half hour, but when I was out, I still felt awful. I went took two more painkillers and sat down to watch TV.

  The next thing I knew, the doorbell rang and awakened me. When I got up to answer it, I felt no better than I had earlier. I felt as though I’d been run down by a steamroller.

  It was Jason at the door. He walked in after me, closing the door behind him. Looking at me, he immediately knew something was wrong.

  “Are you feeling OK?” He held my arm as I lowered myself onto the sofa to lie down..

  “I don’t know. I felt fine this morning, but now I feel really bad. It’s like I have no energy. I think I might need a little sleep.” Grabbing a blanket off the back of a chair, he draped it over me.

  “Would you mind if I stayed until you wake, so I know you’re fine?” I nodded my head in agreement and curled up into a ball. I fell asleep strai
ght away.

  When I opened my eyes, I blinked a few times. I wasn’t sure where I was for a few seconds, as it was dark outside. The only light was from the TV. Moving was hard; my body was stiff and I still felt terrible. I had to resign myself to the fact that I probably had the flu. My body hurt from head to toe.

  I had no appetite and all the time I was trying to sleep, I had been folding back the blanket because I was hot one minute, then pulling it back on the next, because I was freezing cold. I was shivering as if I had no control over any nerve in my body. My teeth were playing a wonderful tune, as they chattered away. Their sound was so loud that Jason looked ’round at me. The corners of his mouth went skywards.

  “How are you feeling now, sleepyhead?” Putting my thumping head back down on the sofa arm, I moaned.

  “I feel terrible, Jason. I think I have the flu.” I could have cried then, I felt so sorry for myself.

  “Would you like me to make you a hot drink?” He asked with a look of pity on his face.

  “Yes, please. That would be nice. Thank you.” I smiled weakly. He got up out of the chair to enter the kitchen. “Jason. Could you turn the telly down a little, please? My head feels like it’s gonna split in two.”

  “Yes, sure. Anything else?”

  “No, thanks.” I tried to give him a smile, but I think it was more of a grimace.

  When I opened my eyes again, I looked over at Jason. He was asleep on the chair with his coat covering him. Looking down for my drink, I found it was stone cold. I must have fallen asleep again. I don’t know how long though, as it was dark in the room, still.

  All I knew was, I needed the toilet, and fast. I hadn’t drunk much earlier, but I hadn’t moved since this morning. I got up slowly and painstakingly made my way to the toilet. Jason changed position in the chair, then fell into his soft rhythm of snoring. He looked very peaceful. His chest rose and fell smoothly.

  After what seemed like hours, I crept back under the blanket on the sofa. No matter how I lay, I couldn’t get comfortable. In the end, I gave up and allowed thoughts to drift through my head while I stared at the ceiling. Every now and again, I felt myself drift off and then come back.

  The last time it happened I opened my eyes to daylight. Jason was no longer on the chair. I heard the upstairs flush being pulled. Someone walked back down the stairs and into the kitchen. The tap went on and I could hear the kettle being filled, along with cups being taken out of the cupboard. Finally, Jason walked back into the living room and smiled when he saw I was awake.

  “Hi, honeybunch! How’re you feeling now? Better?” He made his way over to me, sat down and placed his hand on my forehead. “Hmm. You’re hot. Do you feel hot?” I had on very light pyjamas and a dressing gown. The blanket was pulled up around my neck, as tight to my body as it could be. My teeth were still chattering.

  “N... n... no I f… f… feel f… freezing,” I stammered. Then as soon as I said that, I started to sweat. I threw the blanket off me and almost over Jason’s head. I grabbed the nearest magazine and began fanning myself madly with it. “God, I’m so hot. Are you hot?”

  Jason shook his head.

  “No. I think I had better ring for a doctor for you.”

  “I’ve got the flu. Fluids, and plenty of rest; blah, blah, blah. I know what to do. I don’t need a doctor to tell me that. Oh God, my head. Please could you get me some tablets, Jason?”

  “I’ll be two minutes.” He jumped up, got them from the kitchen and brought them back in with a glass of water. “Here you are. Would you like another hot drink?” he asked, eyeing up the untouched cold tea, on the table. “As I’m making one?”

  “Yes, please, and I’ll try to drink it this time.” He pecked me on the cheek and strolled off into the kitchen. Two minutes later, he sauntered back in with two mugs of steaming hot tea. He handed one to me, and sat down with the other. I took a quick sip. It tasted fantastic. I was very hungry and to prove it, at that moment, my stomach rumbled loudly. I hadn’t actually eaten anything since the night before visiting Mum.

  “Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something to eat?” Putting his mug down, he got up, as if he were a dog on a hunt.

  “No, I couldn’t eat a thing. I feel sick to my stomach. Please don’t even talk about food.”

  “OK, calm down.” He chuckled. I noticed for the first time in a while how nice his smile was. His laugh was endearing too. I smiled back. I couldn’t do any more. I didn’t have the strength. Then there was silence. Long and loaded silence.

  “Um, I’m tired again. I’m gonna try to sleep.”

  “Do you want me to stay?” I thought about it for a minute and decided that it would be nice to have someone there when I woke up.

  “Yes, if you don’t mind.” His smile grew to twice the size it had been.

  “Of course I don’t mind. If I happen to go to the shops, do you want me to get you anything?”

  “Could you get some orange juice?”

  “Yeah. No problem.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I’ll be here when you wake up,” Jason said.

  I sighed, and lay back for some sleep. The next thing I could hear were voices in the distance. Gradually, the voices grew louder, until I realised that I could hear Jason and Sam in the kitchen chatting and laughing. I waited a minute, so I could fully wake up, then inch by agonizing inch, staggered to the kitchen to say hello to Sam. I hoped to God that Russell wasn’t with her.

  “There she is,” Jason called out. “Your orange juice is over there. Tell me when you want a drink, and I’ll get it for you.”

  “Thanks, Jason.”

  Sam looked around and pushed out her bottom lip.

  “Hiya, aren’t you feeling well? You’re lucky to have Jason. By the way, congratulations. Mum told me Jason popped the question.” I wasn’t ready for this yet. I still felt like rubbish. Also, I didn’t want to upset Jason as he had been so attentive to me.

  “Um. Thanks.”

  Jason tried to smile. “She hasn’t actually said yes yet.”

  “Oh, right. Sorry. I should have kept my mouth shut. Sorry, Beth.” I lifted the corners of my mouth up as best as I could.

  “That’s OK, I haven’t decided either way,” I told them. I walked over to get a glass. Jason understood, and grabbed a glass filling it with orange juice. Handing it to me, he then jogged into the living room and came back with the blanket from my makeshift bed.

  “Here you are.” He placed it on my shoulders. “Is that better?” I pulled it close to me.

  “Yes, thanks.” He was next to me, and as my body ached, I leaned against him as if he were a post.

  “Let’s go and sit down in the living room, shall we?” Jason suggested, wrapping his arm around me. Sam and Jason sat in the two chairs and I curled under the blanket on the sofa. The conversation began flowing again. The day went on smoothly after that and, ultimately, so did the week.

  With time came a few more visits from Mum and Dad and Megan and Izzy at the end of the week. Joe and Rachel came by with Ben. By the next Sunday, I was feeling a lot better. I went back to work on that Monday and even though work normally annoys me, it felt good to finally go back. I still had a decision to make, but when I was asked the question, I became nauseous. What was I going to do?

  I decided to ask everyone’s opinion. I thought that would help me with this decision. The first person on my list was going to be Megan, because if anybody was going to tell me the truth, she would. I asked her to meet me for lunch, that first Monday I was back to work, at Café Belle. When I walked in, I could see by her face and body language she was ready for whatever I was going to spring on her. Pulling out the chair, I smiled as breezily as I could muster.

  “Hi, you all right?” I asked Meg.

  “Yeah. What do you want to ask me?” she replied.

  “I’m just gonna order myself a drink first.”

  I walked to the counter and waited to be served.

  “Hello, what
can I get you?” The red-headed waitress punctuated her greeting with a dazzling smile.

  “Hi. I’ll have a cappuccino, please.”

  She pressed a few buttons on the till.

  “That’ll be three pounds fifty.” I rummaged through my purse, grabbed a few coins and handed them to her.

  “Thank you,” she said. “If you sit down, we’ll bring it over when it’s ready.”

  I went and sat back at the table. Megan gave me a piercing look.

  “Well? I’m waiting with bated breath!” she said. I gathered that sentence had slight sarcasm to it.

  “I just wanted your opinion on something, that’s all,” I told her.

  Her lips became thin lines.

  “Hmm, I wonder what that could be.” By that, I guessed she knew what it was going to be about.

  “Meg, please, don’t be like that.”

  She leaned closer to me from across the table.

  “Beth, don’t do it. I know that you want to talk about what Jason asked you, and if you’re asking my view, don’t do it.”

  The next question I didn’t really need to ask at all, but I did.

  “Why not?”

  Meg looked at me as if were a child.

  “Because, you don’t get on with him. You two are among the worst people I’ve ever seen together. If you aren’t with him 24 hours a day, then he’s terrible to you. I’ve seen him; he’s a child, Beth. You were so much happier before you met Jason.”

  We went quiet as the waitress placed my drink down.

  “Thank you,” I said. The girl walked away. “I know, Meg, but what if he’s the one?”

  She shook her head, and looked more serious than she ever had.

  “If you’re asking me to give you that answer, do you honestly think that he’s the one?” She took a sip from her cup.

  I sat there thinking. It was true what she was saying. For the rest of the time I was there, we sat mainly in silence. As I drank my cappuccino, I realised I had a lot to think about.

  When we had finished lunch, we kissed, hugged and went our separate ways. The next person on my list was Izabelle. I drove to her house and knocked on the door. Izzy answered straight away.